Author: jevlir

  • But I Didn’t Order It

    But I Didn’t Order It

    “We’re here to install your new Complete Health Solution,” announced the cheerful voice.

    “But I didn’t order any such thing,” said the old man.

    This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of any of the characters to anyone in the real world (including any resemblance of the old man to me) is purely coincidental.
Copyright © 2024, Henry E. Neufeld

    “You didn’t have to! This is all paid for by the Department of Health. There will be no cost to you, and you can pretty much forget doctor visits and taking medications.”

    “But I didn’t order it,” said the old man, again.

    “You didn’t have to!” Less cheerful now. “The Department of Health orders it for you. They pay for it. We install it. It makes your life better.”

    “But I didn’t order it.”

    “Please listen to me! You don’t have to order it. It’s provided to you free of charge. You don’t have to pay a thing or do anything. I install it. It makes your life better.”

    “I am listening to you, but I didn’t order that thing.” The voice was very steady for an angry man past 100 years old.

    “Listen, please! Ordering doesn’t matter. It’s yours, courtesy of the Department of Health. It monitors your vital signs, looks for medical problems before they happen. It puts any required medications into your food and water for you. It does everything! It’s a wonderful machine. Now just sit down over there in your recliner while I install it for you.”

    “But. I. Didn’t. Order. It. Since you’re obviously mentally impaired, that means I. Don’t. Want. It.”

    There was silence for a few moments.

    “But it’s good for you! It’s a wonderful gift the Department of Health is just giving to you. Companies that make pills and pharmacies that dispense them will soon be a thing of the past. All your medication will come through one of these machines. You won’t have to worry about taking pills ever again.”

    “I don’t take any pills. I didn’t order it.”

    “Well, we’re providing it to you in any case. Please, just sign right here acknowledging acceptance of this wonderful gift.”

    The old man looked at the text on the tablet screen. He read it carefully. He wondered if the cheerful installer had ever actually read the text, of if he just handed it out expecting a signature.

    “I didn’t order it. Therefore, I won’t sign for it.” He handed the tablet and stylus back.

    “But you can’t do that!”

    “Actually, I can. Read it yourself. I didn’t order it. I won’t sign for it. I don’t want it.”

    “If you die, it’s all your fault!” Not cheery any more.

    “So true, young man, so true.” And the old man grinned.

    (Featured image generated by Jetpack AI, in an ironic twist, considering the topic.)

  • Traversing the Pass of Demons

    Traversing the Pass of Demons

    The itinerant storyteller was old and gray, but while they showed the wear of travel, is clothes were of good quality, and he carried a sword and bow that were much above the average in the village. Such was expected of a successful storyteller.

    So there was a huge fire that night in the center of the village, along with a fine feast, and a certain amount of beer, one of the products of the town. With the certainty of a law of nature, the visiting storyteller was invited to tell a story.

    The children gathered near the old man, while the youth and adults crowded around, pretending they were less interested, but making sure they could hear.

    “It is well-established that nobody can go through Entehrenac, which you may know as the pass of demons, during the months of winter,” he began.

    He paused, waiting for a response. “Of course,” said an older boy. “Everybody knows that.”

    “It is possible,” said the storyteller, “for everybody to be wrong.” There was a gasp from the crowd. This sounded like a dangerous statement. But storytellers were given great latitude in their culture. Besides, if this man would break with custom, the evening would be far more interesting than normal, say, if the storyteller told a traditional tale demonstrating the importance of living according to tradition and the decrees of the town elders.

    “Long ago, so long ago that I had not even been born, a young woman lived with her family in a village just south of Entehrenac. Her name was Imeril. She was in her mid-teens and was a very unremarkable girl. She kept to herself mostly, other than helping her mother keep their house and care for younger brothers and sisters.

    “Her father was a rich man. Some said this was because he was blessed by the gods. Others said it was because he was just plain lucky. Some admitted he had a way of finding gems and gold nuggets in the streams around their town. But others said he was a violent man and a thief, and that his riches were the result of theft, but nobody had been able to prove anything for years.

    “Then one day an accuser arrived to claim that Imeril’s father had entered his house when he was not there, robbed him of gems he had stored there, and assaulted and killed his wife.

    “The people gathered around the town shrine — it was much too small of a town to have a temple to any particular god — and the town priest, was asked to consult the gods. Nobody actually recalled how the man had become a priest, nor anything miraculous he might have accomplished, but it was well established,” the storyteller paused here for a moment, “that he was a priest and could, at need, determine truth.

    “The priest required the sacrifice of a goat, which he examined carefully, and also rattled some bone dice around and read them with a knowing look on his face. Then he announced that the gods had spoken clearly in multiple ways, and they, the gods, declared Imeril’s father guilty as a murderer, thief, and also a rapist.

    “Some further augury was required, this time costing two chickens.”

    At this point some people noticed that the local town priest was looking frightened. Well, perhaps it was blasphemous to say the priest was frightened. Even in their thoughts, people changed that to “concerned.”

    As well he should be! This way of describing priestly rituals was likely to cause people to question the value of the village priest. If they did that, they might question his rulings. If the did that, they might question the gods themeselves!

    But the storyteller continued.

    “Once the entrails of the chickens had been duly examined, and the dice again rattled and rolled, the priest announced the sentence. ‘This man and his entire household must be burned alive in the town square so as to cleanse our village of this evil.’ Some of the people were disturbed, wondering how it could be that a man they had known all their lives, even if they hadn’t really liked him, could be so evil that his sin must be expiated in such a dramatic and nasty fashion.

    “But most of the villagers considered that the proper forms had been followed, and that the gods must have spoken, and almost immediately set about seizing the convicted man, his family, and even his slaves, of which he had two. The priest informed them that they were to create a huge bonfire just outside the town and burn the man and his household alive. This was, he told them, the will of the gods and what was required by tradition.

    “Now Imeril, as a girl child, was supposed to be waiting for the results at home. In fact, a guard had been left to make sure nobody could escape, or, more importantly, carry out any valuable items from the house. She was certainly not supposed to hear the ceremony.

    “But Imeril, though often quiet, was intelligent and observant. She thought this was not going to go well. She packed some things that might be needed in order to run, just in case, and then she took her six-year-old brother, a favorite of hers, climbed out a window in the back, and found a hiding place from which she could observe.

    “It is, I must add, a very bad comment on the guard that she could do this. It says something about how alert the village people were that she could observe and listen with nobody noticing. It says something about the trust of a little brother that said brother remained totally quiet.

    “When the verdict had been rendered by the priest, Imeril took her little brother, went to where she had hidden her supplies, and fled the village. It was winter, though spring was near. She decided the safest option was to go through Entehrenac, despite its reputation as the pass of demons, and the established fact that nobody could go through the pass in winter.

    “It was perhaps, though not certainly, unfortunate that she was not as good at hiding her tracks as she had been at the other parts of her plan. A girl was not expected to learn how to travel quietly through the mountains while not leaving a trail.

    “The people of the town gathered the household into the town square. Some of them were hesitant, but it only took a few mentions of the curse of the gods if they didn’t do precisely as those gods demanded to shut them up. The mob was getting quite stirred up enough to burn an entire household alive.

    “Then suddenly someone noticed that Imeril was missing. They must have the entire household! If anyone escaped, the town would be under a curse. Nobody was sure whether the priest started this story, but he certainly agreed to it when asked.

    “So a group of men from the village grabbed their hunting bows and hunting knives–swords were unknown in that village–and they proceeded to hunt for Imeril and the little boy. They almost missed some of the obvious clues that Imeril had left due to her complete lack of experience at traveling through the forest.

    “Soon they realized that she was headed for Entehrenac. There was some discussion. But in the end, they decided they had to continue. After all, it takes considerable anger–real or contrived–to decide to burn an entire household.

    “Imeril was well up into the pass by the time they caught up enough that she noticed them. While she was inexperienced, she was in good shape, and she moved fast. She was, I must add, very much motivated!

    “She could tell that her pursuers were gaining on her, even though she was pretty sure they hadn’t noticed her yet. She was also slowed by the burden of a six-year-old child. She never considered leaving him behind.

    “Then she saw her chance. There was a rock, the remnant of an earlier rock slide, that was near the edge of the path, which looked like it was about to fall in any case. Using a handy branch, she set about to send it over the edge to the trail behind her, which meant ‘below’ as well, to stop her pursuers. She was really thinking of blocking their path.

    “But rocks in mountain passes that are subject to avalanches may have unexpected effects–never forget that should you be in a mountain pass–and it was just at the start of spring. The rock went over the edge almost as soon as she touched it with her branch, and it bounced against several other rocks and trees. At the end, it hit a log that was the last thing holding back tons of snow, rocks, and dirt, and set off a spectacular avalanche.

    “The ground shook, and Imeril thought they would be carried away. In fact, the path a hundred feet behind her disappeared, but the path where she was and ahead of her remained in place. When the noise and shaking stopped, she could see nothing of her pursuers.

    “She nearly died from cold crossing the rest of the pass, but a teenage girl emerged, barely alive, to find refuge with a farmer. The people on the north side of the mountain, as you know, are generally farmers.”

    The storyteller paused, and let some of the children work themselves up to say, “Don’t stop there!”

    Some of the adults hoped he would. They wished he had never come to town. Good stories were supposed to reinforce obedience and good behavior. Sure, the sentence had been harsh, but if people started arguing with the gods, where would it end?

    But the storyteller was not finished.

    “A few weeks later, some of the regular summer merchants got together the first expedition to go south through the pass. There they would bargain with the mountain dwellers for gold, silver, and gems. The first passage was always difficult, often requiring making new sections of trail, especially if there had been particularly bad avalanches.

    “The merchants had heard of the girl who came out of the pass, but she had hired on with a merchant caravan weeks before, and besides, most of them didn’t believe she had come through the pass at all. It was an established fact that that was impossible.

    “So they traveled through the pass, and they came to a place where they could see signs that the a stream had been blocked by an avalanche and then the blockage had been removed when enough snow and ice had melted. It looked bigger than any such catastrophe they had seen before, but they didn’t really understand just how big.

    “Not until, that is, they got to where the village had been. That village was simply gone. They found just a few remains that might have been part of a village, but they might have missed them if they hadn’t been looking diligently.

    “When word of this got back to people who had heard Imeril’s whole story, there were quite a number of explanations.

    “Some people believed that Imeril’s father had been falsely accused, and thus the village had been cursed, and Imeril had miraculously survived.

    “Others thought the village had been cursed by their carelessness in allowing someone under the condemnation of the gods to escape punishment.

    “Others maintained that the entire story was made up.

    “There were a few oldtimers who said, ‘Why do we need to invoke the gods? That’s the way villagers, village priests, mountains, snow, avalanches, and floods work. It’s a tough universe.’

    “Imeril’s brother became rich and famous and is known as Galdor the Sailor.

    “Imeril always tried to reenforce the first option, that her father had been falsely accused. It was the one that had kept her alive.

    “But when I was old enough to understand my mother told me that was all nonsense. ‘Your grandfather was indeed a murderer, thief, and rapist. I escaped because I knew that, and assumed the gods would declare him guilty.”

    It was a good thing the storyteller had such a good sword and knew how to use it.

    This story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any persons in the real world is strictly coincidental. Copyright © 2024, Henry E. Neufeld. The featured image was generated with Jetpack AI.

  • In One Sentence: In Your Nanotech

    In One Sentence: In Your Nanotech

    “Your body maintenance nanotech package has been infected by a virus,” said the laughing voice via my virtual reality streaming implant, as I gasped for breath and felt my consciousness slip away.

    (In a possibly ironic twist, the featured image was generated with AI.)

  • In One Sentence: Meeting in Heaven

    In One Sentence: Meeting in Heaven

    The moment Andrew laid eyes on Jake’s smiling face he knew that life in heaven would be hell for him, knowing that depraved sinner was there as well.

  • A Late International Women’s Day Post

    A Late International Women’s Day Post

    But’s it’s well within Women’s History Month!

    I’m calling two of my past short stories to the front, and making them sticky for the rest of the month. The first is directly about International Women’s Day (A Day for Men to Talk about the Women in their Lives) and the other is Our Pastor Is Lazy, which also relates to many things I have been hearing from pastors lately.

    Enjoy! (Or not!)

  • The Influence of Modern Decadent Culture

    The Influence of Modern Decadent Culture

    It all started rather innocently. Or so it would have seemed to those involved. Nobody intended to hurt anyone else. It started during the special collection for the needy taken up early in Advent in order to buy needed supplies to distribute just before Christmas

    This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, place, or event to anything in the real world is purely coincidental. Copyright © 2023, Henry E. Neufeld

    Fred Lewis, senior saint and fixture in the small town and its largest church, was putting a $50 bill into the offering plate. He pitied those who couldn’t get what they needed at Christmas. Unfortunately, he was getting slower as he aged, and a little less precise with his fingers, and he pulled a receipt out of his wallet along with the bill. He didn’t notice until he had dropped both the money and the receipt into the offering plate.

    Now he might have just suffered the embarrassment of having to look for the receipt later, but it was an important one. He intended to return a tool that he felt had not lived up to its advertised quality to the hardware store, and he knew the owner and the manager would insist on a receipt. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was the principle that mattered. They would give him his money back!

    So he reached back into the offering plate and grabbed the receipt. Fortune again did not favor him, as he grabbed not only the receipt, but his $50 bill, and a couple of others as well. He fumbled to get the money back into the offering plate and to keep the receipt, and finally, having accomplished his goal, passed the plate along with a self-deprecating apology.

    It might have stopped at that, but …

    At dinner that evening, Elfrieda, who was a widow, and a center of social activity for the church, and who had been sitting just down the row from these events told the story at the church social to gales of laughter. She did not intend to imply that any money had been actually taken from the plate, much less that such a pillar of the community as Fred Lewis might have taken it. But it so enhanced to story to end it with: “Who knows where all the money ended up?”

    In the normal course of small-town gossip, the whole thing might have ended right there, but Elfrieda had told the story so well, and so many people whose fingers were not nearly as old managed to repeat the story. As stories will, it got edited. By the middle of the week the town barber was heard telling the man whose hair he was trimming that he (the barber) had heard that Fred Lewis had taken $50 from the offering plate. He assured the man that this couldn’t possibly be true and that he had just heard it, but wasn’t it funny how such things got around.

    Wednesday night, Fred Lewis didn’t show up for the study in the church. Fred always attended that study. People wondered if he was not feeling well. Nobody thought of the story going around because, of course, nobody believed the story. Or nobody admitted they did.

    Joyce, head of Caring Ministries for the church, started to go check on Fred, but as she was heading that way she recalled hearing that he might have taken money from the offering plate. If he was in great need, she could forgive him, she thought, but she wasn’t ready for the conversation. So she skipped that visit and headed on out to visit some shut-ins.

    What had actually happened was that Fred had found himself in difficulty sorting out his medication, and after several tries and repeated checking had finally taken the pills he thought he should. He ended up with an overdose of one medication and none at all of some others. It might not have been fatal, but his heart was giving him some trouble, and those were precisely the wrong medications.

    As Joyce walked by on the other side of the street, Fed Lewis was unconscious in his living room recliner. Of course, nobody suspected that.

    It was Friday afternoon when the new doctor in town, notified by his office nurse that Fred was not there for the appointment he’d asked for on Wednesday, decided to go check. You might think it odd that a doctor went to check on a patient personally, but this young doctor had come to the small town to practice old-fashioned medicine. He’d been burned out in his residency. He’d almost given up medicine altogether but had been attracted to the idea of the simplicity of being a small-town doctor. So he checked on his patient and found him dead.

    The young doctor did everything right. He called the police. He suggested the possibility of the mixup with the medications. The county coroner ruled it (correctly) as death due to an accidental overdose.

    Then somebody, nobody ever remembered who, wondered out loud whether the overdoes had, in fact, been accidental. Perhaps Fred Lewis had heard the things that were being said about him taking money from the offering plate. For a man of his character it might just have been too much. People dismissed this as ridiculous. But it was said and dismissed in furtive tones over and over again.

    Then someone mentioned that they thought they remembered that the doctor was sitting next to Fred Lewis in church. Who was more likely to be the source of the story? Perhaps the doctor, rather than being the self-sacrificing hero who had come to provide good medical care to the small town was actually the cause of Fred Lewis’s distress. It didn’t matter that there was no evidence that Fred Lewis had ever heard the rumor, but nobody thought of that.

    If it was possible that the doctor had started the rumor, then perhaps he had contrived to cover up evidence of a suicide so he wouldn’t be blamed for the vicious, even pernicious rumor that had made the fine old man decide he didn’t want to face life any more. Any number of people said that this story was also ridiculous, but that didn’t stop people from spreading it.

    When the young doctor was found dead in the woods near a hiking trail, everyone in town assumed it was suicide. “He knew he had killed Fred Lewis by the rumor he started,” said several pillars of the town’s society knowingly. Nobody took note of the coroner’s report that said the young man had hit his head on a sharp rock, knocked himself out and then bled to death.

    As the story spread through the town the consensus was that modern decadent culture just didn’t prepare people for real life. If the doctor had had any guts at all, he would have owned up to his responsibility, faced the music, and moved on.

    What a vast amount of timber can be set ablaze by the tiniest spark! 6 And the tongue is a fire …

    The Revised English Bible. (1996). (Jas 3:5–6). Cambridge; New York; Melbourne; Madrid; Cape Town; Singapore; São Paulo; Delhi; Dubai; Tokyo: Cambridge University Press.

    Image credit: Adobe Stock  pathdoc Not public domain

  • Swipe Board and Encore in Death

    Swipe Board and Encore in Death

    Just after I finished reading the latest In Death book, Encore in Death, Amazon pushed an ad to me for what looks like a swipe board. I’m sure this can’t be related. If I was doing office presentations, I think I’d love this, but then, unlike Eve Dallas, I love tech!

    Speaking of which, I loved Encore in Death. Series tend to get a bit outrageous over time, as the author/creator tries to find new and more thrilling things for the lead characters to do, but this one was well-grounded and spent some decent time developing the characters.

    I’m definitely not one to provide spoilers, other than noting that, unlike a couple of recent books (which I nonetheless liked), this one is well grounded and is much more grounded in the character of the people and less in either technology or globe-spanning conspiracies.

    It’s well worth reading. And unlike the swipe board above, I’m providing the links so you can get your copy!

  • Pre-Order Desperation in Death

    Pre-Order Desperation in Death

    I am a fan of J. D. Robb and the In Death series, and I have discovered that through The Jevlir Caransary Bookstore, powered by Aer.io, I can give a discount. I’m offering 20% off on pre-orders for the paperback and hardcover, and 2% on the large print (the margin is sliced very thin). Aer.io ceased to exist, and this book has been released. You can order it from Amazon.com here:

  • In One Sentence: An Improbable Asteroid

    In One Sentence: An Improbable Asteroid

    As Ferdinand looked at the calculated path of the approaching asteroid, he suddenly was convinced that “improbable” and “impossible” were truly not the same thing.

    (Featured image by Alexander Antropov from Pixabay, with help from clipart by (monsterbraingames on openclipart.org.)

  • About the Jump in Safety Violations

    About the Jump in Safety Violations

    The Plant Manager (PM) was not a happy man.

    Occupying the space in front of his desk, and looking quite uncomfortable were his Safety Coordinator (SC), his Operations Manager (OM), and three shift supervisors.

    “I thought you were going to improve our safety record,” said the Plant Manager, looking at the Safety Coordinator. “Instead, safety violations have multiplied! Things are getting worse!”

    “We haven’t had any more injuries on the job over the last six months,” said the OM.

    “But look at the risk! Look at the way safety violations have increased! How do you explain it?” He was look at the SC again.

    “Well, I created a new safety code,” said the SC.

    “Is it a better safety code?” asked the PM, “Or is it creating all these errors?”

    “It’s better. We’re recognizing errors that we weren’t noticing before,” said the SC.

    “But a new safety code should make us safer!” The PM’s look said that he thought the SC might be mentally impaired, or perhaps intoxicated.

    “I beg your pardon,” said a voice, a bit timidly. It was one of the supervisors.

    “What?” snapped the PM as the OM and SC looked on in shock. Why on earth would a mere supervisor invite attention in a meeting like this.

    “I don’t think a new safety code, however good, will make people safer. It just identified issues. In fact, many of the workers don’t really know what’s in it. Some of them don’t care that much.”

    “What do you mean they don’t care? They have to care! It’s the work rules. If they don’t really care, fire them!”

    “Well,” said the supervisor, a bit more confidently. If she was about to be fired, she might as well fully earn it! “There’s no incentive to work more safely. There has been no time taken to train people to work more safely. We’re already short on manpower, so people don’t worry as much about getting fired, because they know we don’t have a drawer full of applications to take their places. They also don’t understand just how the safety code is going to make them safer.”

    “You just haven’t told them frequently enough that they need to follow the safety code,” said the PM.

    “I tell them every day. They aren’t motivated. They don’t understand it. They don’t see how it applies to them. Some of them look at it and figure it’s just too hard to follow and not worth it.” She was thinking that the sense of already being fired, suggested by the looks on all the manager’s faces, and the fact that her fellow supervisors had moved to distance themselves from her, made it easy to be courageous.

    The PM thought he would fire the supervisor, but he wasn’t going to do it in this meeting. Instead, he looked at the SC. “I want a better safety code, well-written, precise. One that the workers will follow. I want posters put up on every wall, reminding people of the safety code. This plant will, by God, have an excellent safety record.”

    “But …” started the supervisor.

    “Shut up!” said the PM.

    (Now read Romans 7. Are you, as a parent, as a teacher, as a church leader behaving like the PM? The SC? What is it that actually changes people’s behavior?)

    This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of any character to anyone in real life is purely coincidental. Copyright © 2020, Henry E. Neufeld.